There's Something in Your Teeth

We've all experienced it. Someone has green stuff in her teeth, or someone else has buttoned his sweater wrong, or someone consistenly mispronounces "nuclear". Do you tell the person about it?



Some of us would. Some wouldn't. Some feel it's their duty to help or believe it's a kindness to spare another person further embarrassment. And some just like finding fault.



Authors get things wrong, and readers notice. The question is tough for said reader: does he tell the author, or let her wander along in ignorant bliss?



Good question. I have no answer, but here are a few considerations.

If you happen to be an expert on a particular subject, you probably know things that most readers won't. Does it matter if the murder weapon is wrong for that decade?



How many others have already pointed the mistake out to the author? If you're the twentieth or the fortieth, the author may have trouble being gracious.



On the other hand, most authors want to know what's wrong with their work. Not that it can be changed, but future errors can be avoided once we're aware of them. No one is a 100 percent expert on everything, and it's easy to slide into error with a casual reference, example, or idiom.



So when you notice that "something" on my teeth or in my book, consider whether it's to my benefit to point it out. If you're being helpful, I'll be thankful. If you're being picky, I'd prefer you pick on someon else.

Reading in Fits and Starts

I never have time to read long stretches anymore. Once upon a time, I read whole novels in a day, but now I'm lucky to find fifteen minutes when my brain isn't insisting I should be doing something else. I thought maturity (oldness) meant your life slowed a bit, but it hasn't been the case, and although I want to read, want to see what other writers can do, I find it only makes me want to get at my own work, to improve something or finish something or create something.



So many ideas, so little time.

What Is Funny?

Whatever "funny" is, it's highly personal, possibly generational, and undefinable, for the most part.

You may think the Three Stooges are funny while your friend thinks they're just dumb. You may howl at Adam Sandler's antics while your spouse cringes. And you may rent "The Hangover" and end up watching it by yourself, receiving some arch looks that signal, "What were you thinking?"



My spouse and I are lucky in that we share the same sense of humor in most cases. Still, I find Gilbert and Sullivan hilarious, and he encourages me to find someone else to share that particular experience with. In an audience in London, where I saw "Pirates of Penzance" for the umpteenth time, a woman behind me told her husband when it was over, "Well, that was just silly."



If it isn't funny, then it's silly. I find many of the so-called hilarious mystery novels of today silly.

What's the difference between the antics of Keystone Kops and some feather-headed fashion plate solving crimes by accident? I don't know. It's just my sense of humor. Funny, isn't it.

Topic: Mystery

I spoke last evening to a group of mystery lovers, some of whom might have exchanged places with me and done a fine job. It's scary to face an audience of experts, and the depth of knowledge some readers have in specific sub-genres or about specific authors often amazes me.



For most of my life I was a grazer of mysteries, reading whatever was available and paying little attention to who wrote what. I knew I liked certain authors, of course, but didn't give much thought to why. When I became a writer, I started actually meeting some of the people whose work I admire, along with a host of writers I'd never heard of. Or had I? Often I found that once an author spoke a bit about his/her protagonist, I'd think, "Oh, right. I read a few of those books." I just hadn't bothered to commit anything to memory. Reading is entertainment, and there are no quizzes later.



I pay much better attention now, but all those past books huddle dimly in my memory. I may recognize the sleuth, I may hear a title and know I read that book once upon a time. But I was a bit of a glutton, feeding on a book and then moving on, often retaining little of it. Now I make an effort to categorize and examine, comparing each book to others in the genre, and of course, to my own.



When the topic is mystery, I can hold my own in most discussions, but I still consider reading to be entertainment. I'm aware that there are many who are better than I am at recalling all the details, to whom mystery is a Serious Thing. When they show up in my audiences, I'm always glad to let them educate me.

If Seven Maids with Seven Mops...

Looking out over the Gulf of Mexico from the eighth floor during a thunderstorm. Impressive.



I'm reading a book (run-of-the-mill thriller) that uses quantam theory for a plot basis, and it brought back all the other things I've read on QT, starting with THE DANCING WU LI MASTERS. It's a little above my head (maybe a lot), but the idea seems to be that...well, everything seems to be.



Atoms are not the little nuggets we thought of in high school. They are really nothing. They only ACT like something, and if we accept that, then they ARE something. It may be, in fact, that they actually BECOME something because we believe in them.



So to return to Lewis Carroll and "The Walrus and the Carpenter": If seven maids with seven mops swept it (the beach) for half a year, there is no doubt they could get it clear. In quantam theory, it's all about believing in possibility. In religion, they call that faith. We're fast learning that they may be one and the same.

Friday Question

Where do the crazy people come from?



Subquestions: are we all crazy, just in different ways? Do we all do things that endanger our lives and the lives of others without having a clue?



Questions like these arise whenever I drive long distances and observe other drivers. Scary. Very

scary.

An Answer and A Reader's Question

On the baby crying question: according to doctors, their
nervous system is learning to operate the body separate
from the mother. Something in the crying is necessary for
it to kick in and control the body systems. Wow.

Today's question for readers: While you're busy reading,
what else are you likely to be doing?
Me, I'm trying to break the habit of eating M&Ms while I
read!

Baby Love

Here's today's question: why do babies cry, assuming they are fed, warm, dry, even being held by a loving adult. What do you think?

Where Do You Read?

That's the question for today. I read at the breakfast table and in bed before falling asleep these days (two different books, often different genres). The rest of the day is usually too busy.

How Do You Choose?

I'm on the road, which means shorter blogs, for one thing. Never knowing if I'll have time to think of something really wise to say, I'll ask some questions, rhetorical and otherwise, and see who's paying attention.

When you choose a book, are you influenced most by the cover art, the title, the author's credentials, or the blurb? (She asks after agonizing over the cover for the new book.)

Squirrels and Me

They're outside my office window, and I catch their movements out of the corner of my eye (an odd but apt phrase). They're always busy, and I bet they don't have cholesterol problems at all, what with climbing up the lilac tree, skipping across the shed roof, and jumping, all four paws flailing, to get to the bird feeder and steal the best seeds from their feathered competitors.

Maybe if I had to work that hard for my lunch I wouldn't be so stiff, so achy, so soft around the middle. Maybe my pants would fit.

But then, if I were a squirrel, I wouldn't have to wear pants.

The Intelligent Reader

Readers are smart people. They pick up on literary convention quite easily, and they understand that those conventions are often vague and eminently breakable. The flashback is my current quibble with my editor. He says they have to be a certain way; I'm not so sure. He'll win, because he's the editor, but I like the quote often attributed to Somerset Maugham: "There are three rules for writing. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are."

Readers pick up what an author is doing pretty easily if they're engrossed in the story, so I would like to leave my flashbacks as they are. Still, I know the editor is an intelligent reader. I guess I have to trust that as he goes, so go other intelligent readers. So it's off to rewriting the flashbacks!

My Impersonation of Madeline Kahn

I'mmm sooooo tired!
Book launch party last night. Nothing stressful: a lot of friends show up, eat lovely goodies, buy a book or two, and chat. But I'm still exhausted today. And last night the edits showed up on my next book with a "please return in one week" notation. And we're getting ready to take our show on the road soon. And. And. And.
There's no rest for the wicked writer, no matter how much fun she's having.

The People We Hate List

As life wends its way along, we meet people we like, people who make little impression at all, and people we HATE. I am often surprised to find that while there are poeple almost everyone agrees are "likability disabled", there is lots of individual variance, too. People I can't stand are less irritating to others and vice versa.

The problem is that we often can't react overtly to these people. Sometimes we don't dare (it's your boss, for example); sometimes it isn't a good idea (teachers should refrain from personal vendettas against even the nastiest of students); and it just isn't good policy to alienate them (you never know when they'll enter your life again). So what do you do?

I suggest writing them a letter, telling them what idiots they are, how difficult it is to work with them, and how much you'd like to punch them in the face. As soon as it's done, destroy it. It's only for you, no matter how well you've captured the essence of your target. Though no one sees it but you, putting your frustration into words is very cathartic, and you may find that once it's done, you can go on with a lower blood pressure. The mere act of getting those insults out is enough.

There may even be side benefits. As a mystery writer, I'll admit that people who've irritated me in daily life spark all sorts of plots. Although the characters in my novels always take on a life of their own, they often spring from the shadow of somebody I once knew and disliked. Someone who deserves a fictional comeuppance.

Book Launch and Good Disasters

Tuesday is the book launch party for HER HIGHNESS' FIRST MURDER. I have received word that the books I ordered for said launch will arrive on Wednesday.

It's the sort of problem one can't complain about. The reason for the delay in shipping is that the first printing of HHFM sold out shortly after the release date, January 20th. The publisher is working on catching up, but ... I'll be having a party without hundreds of little guests of honor.

Am I disappointed? Certainly. Will I live through it? Undoubtedly. Does "sold out" make up for all the running I'm going to have to do to deliver raincheck books when they finally do arrive? Yes!

What Is Mystery? Last Chapter

This week I focused on MHO of what makes a good mystery: believability, the right sleuth, etc. Today I'll finish with the end, that final wrapping-up that either leaves the reader satisfied and wanting the next book from the author or...else.

Golden Age mysteries tended to have a rather lengthy scene where the sleuth replayed the whole scenario, pointing out clues and often ending with a dramatic accusation: "And that's how I deduced that (bum-bum-bum-bahhhh) the butler did it!"
Possibly because television doesn't adapt well to that, we tend to end pretty close to the climax these days, the denouement brief and often spattered with pithy humor as the characters settle back into their normal routine.

It's hard to strike the right balance: too much explanation at the end or leave the reader unsure of what happened and why? I've read books by well-known, well-paid authors where there needed to be at least one more chapter; it felt like someone had taken an ax and chopped the story off. I've also read books where all the explanation in the world didn't make me believe that ending was probable, even possible.

Here's one writer's confession: I don't like writing the last chapter. Though I know there has to be a life-and-death struggle at some point, I don't like trying to capture it in words, and it isn't part of the attraction of mystery for me. When I watch movies or TV shows, I often leave the room once the killer's identity is revealed. I don't care for the final chase scene, the "book 'em, Dano" moment.

When I write, I make myself do it right, paying as much attention to the end as to the rest, but for me, the fun part is building up to it: planting clues, establishing character, following the sleuths' line of thought. I'll write that final chapter, and I'll do it as well as I can, but once we all know whodunit, I'd just as soon move on to the next novel.

What Is Mystery? Great Sleuths

Ask 2 readers what makes a great mystery and you'll get 2 answers, 6 for 6, 10 for 10, and so on. But they'll probably agree that the sleuth, protagonist, hero, or whatever has to appeal to the reader. Maybe he or she is sympathetic, like Odd Thomas, or heroic like Jack Reacher, or irritating-but-determined like Columbo. Somehow we have to want him to succeed, and we have to feel at the end that he has, even in noir, where success isn't always very successful.

How do sleuths go at their jobs? Writers have three basic explanations for a sleuth's tenacity. First, he may be a professional, a cop, a private eye, or a lawyer. It's his job to find the bad guy/prove the accused is innocent. Second, he has a personal stake: a friend, a relative, or he himself is in trouble, suspected of the crime, chased by the killers, affected in some way by a possible outcome. Finally, sometimes the sleuth just wants to know, can't let it drop.

Readers accept that mystery protagonists are people with more-than-usual curiosity. Most of us let the police handle crime; seldom do we "do a little digging" for ourselves. But in mystery, even police officer sleuths are more than normally dedicated -- driven, we might say -- to catch the killer or killers. That's part of their charm: they do what we ourselves would never do.

So what makes a great sleuth? The ones readers love best have unique qualities. In the past they were smarter-than-average types like Sherlock Holmes and Hercule Poirot, and that type is certainly still popular. Today's sleuth tends to struggle with something, though, anything from alcolhol abuse to a nagging mother to a dead man who speaks only to him. His personal demons make it harder for him to proceed and more interesting for us as readers.

Mystery has grown up, and authors and readers constantly look for new sleuths with unique voices. So we get serial-killer sleuths, child sleuths, time-traveling sleuths, and who knows what else...that's the mystery, at least part of it.

Keys to Good Mystery: Believability

The mystery I'm reading right now doesn't have it. The descriptions are artful, the plot moves along, the situation is unique and interesting. But I feel the author's hand on my shoulder, pushing me along, trying to make me believe what she needs me to believe in order to get to her conclusion.

Characters say things that sound, well, out of character, and I hear her yell, "THAT'S A CLUE, READER!" People explode with anger, blurting out their secrets when they should be cautious and subtle. Several minor characters can't seem to decide what their own personality traits are. The protagonist has already told me twice how beautiful she is ... and I'm supposed to like her?

Finally, everyone in the book except the protag, her ethnic sidekick, and the wrongly-accused client is nasty and not afraid to show it. I can't help but think that if there were that many overtly mean-spirited people in one spot for long, the earth would open up and swallow them in pure self-preservation. I also hope the people of this author's state don't read her books: the Chamber of Commerce would cringe at her slamming of the whole state's morals, legal system, and inhabitants.

Will I finish the book? Probably. Will I read another by this author? Probably not. Good authors paint images that make us believe the people and situations are real, no matter how outre they may be. Second-rate authors try to force us to accept their view of the world, and their characters are cartoonish stereotypes, spewing bad dialogue and doing unreasonable things to move a clunky plot along. Second rate doesn't get a second chance from me; there are too many good authors out there.

What Is a Mystery?

Sounds like it might lead to a "Who's On First?" situation: "What is a mystery? I don't know; it's a mystery to me." When we say we love mysteries, what do we mean?

It could mean we love picking out clues in a story and separating them from the red herrings. Some of the greats of mystery excel at the casual reference that is so important later in the story or the item clutched in the dead man's hand that could be nothing, could be something.

Some of us love the chase; the physical danger, the "Oh, *&^%" moment where we can't see how the protag is going to get out of this one, even though we're sure (well, almost sure) that it will happen.

Some of us love the characters: Jack Reacher, V.I.Warshawski, Inspector Gamache, or whoever, despite faults and flaws, makes us want to know how they're doing these days.

And some of us love it all. We can argue about whether suspense is mystery or thriller is its own genre or cozy versus hard-boiled, but for those of us who love it, a puzzle is usually enough. I may be in the mood for John Rain today and Gertie Johnson tomorrow. I am equally at home in Billy Boyle's WWII stories or Hester Latterly's Victorian era or Walt Longmire's modern-day west. As long as there's a plot that I can unravel along with the author and his sleuth, I'm there.

Who Reads Mystery?

Smart people, of course!

Well, that's part of it. Mystery readers come in all shapes and sizes, but I've been to lots of conventions where they gather, and they are a dedicated lot. Authors sometimes cringe at the thought of meeting their fans, because they'll be put to the question: why was Character C's motive so weak? How did Character A travel from New York to L.A. so fast? And did you know that your Character B has blue eyes in book one and green eyes in book two? Oops!

So who are mystery readers? They notice details, like the sleuths they like to follow. They like a puzzle, but it had better make sense when all the pieces are in place. They gobble up mystery novels like tent caterpillars on a maple tree. And they love, love, love to talk about what they like and don't like in the genre.

The differences seem to come in the type of sleuth mystery readers like. Some really get into the smart-mouth hero; others like the reluctant sleuths. Some want lots of detail from the mind of the killer; others like him/her to be remote until the end, when motives spill out in a final desperate scene. Some want all the ends tied up: justice served, evil defeated. Others want recognition at the story's end that life just isn't like that.

So who reads mystery? I was correct at the beginning: smart people of many kinds, many types. The only requirement is the desire to pit your mind as a reader against the mind of the author. Let the battle of wits begin!